#but even some of the others...

[strixcattus]

Stuff about the narrator, stuff about the narrator...

There's this moment with Snowdrake's mum in the true lab "you laugh and keep laughing, it's so funny you can't stop, tears run down your face", so it seems that laughing off or laughing at bad things might be a habit, especially since apart from the puns, other topics for jokes include

Cain's deathbed ("If you laid down here, you might never get up")

A child who "slept in the soil" (though the other "dirty jokes" you can get here are two children playing in a muddy flower garden and a child who ate pie with their hands...so those were nicer, at least)

Frisk's imminent death, multiple times (like a wry joke about each bomb with Mettaton or checking the forcefields)

"Smells like nightshade and bleach" (when fighting whimsalot, is that a joke even?)

"If you're cuter, monsters won't hit you as hard" (explains why accessories raise defence but it's terrible phrasing. In the demo it was just "monsters will be reluctant to hit you" much better)

Putting 5 punch cards in a box will result in Frisk making a smiley face with them, and then when you take one out and say "HaPPineSs Is fLEetinG" because they're a loser edgelord

Serious mode

In certain battles, the jokey item names will be removed and the flavour text will get silent. This happens only three times, when Tori stops attacking and starts saying she can't save even a single child, during the entire duration of the Asgore fight and during Asriel's breakdown (and of course the rest of Asriel's fight is not in serious mode, when they're calling out the attack names, the tone there is excited and childish and playful)

Oh, and Asriel's phonecall, when the narrator says "it's a voice you have never heard before", the line comes out slow, double spaced like the narrator's shocked to hear him. Due to fun value events, you can get a random call from Alphys before you meet her but that doesn't prompt the same reaction, so maybe it's not an "unfamiliar" voice that does it?

When fighting Asgore, after like the third time trying to talk, the narrator will say "seems like talking won't do any more good" every time, except for the 9th time where the line is "seems all you can do is FIGHT", it changes back on the 10th time.

"statistics determine everything about you. Everything you are is but a slave to these tiny numbers." From the demo handbook, numbers, statistics, get everything to the highest it can go, yeah...

Remember me talking about the humans save files, yeah? Well, the first one, the empty one, it jumps into action during Frisk's run and while it still never resets, the file autosaves at certain points.

Seeing as the narrator isn't omniscient, some things they know start to stick out, like knowing where Cain died or "It's a family photo. Everyone is smiling." We saw what looked like a photo with them, didn't we? everyone else was smiling but Cain had their face covered in flowers...

In hard mode, Tori actually makes snail pie and Frisk makes a face but narry still thinks it smells wonderful, this is just funny because the narrator describes snail pie as an acquired taste (as in something you grow to like through eating it over and over) and Tori sure makes a lot of them

The narrator really does like Undyne calling her "the heroine who never gives up" and being generally rather gushy and complimentary (To the point where it almost comes across as mean to Frisk, unlike MK, they know full well that Frisk is Undyne's target, know Frisk can hear them and still gush about Undyne constantly, harsh). It's almost like Undyne is their favourite monster or their idol in the same way Papyrus's is Asriel, in life, Asriel didn't want to kill anyone even as they struck at him, and Papyrus never kills Frisk (he's the only one who fights and doesn't kill, even Tori can if you're not careful).

And well... Undyne is more like...Cain? The one willing, even happy, to kill six humans for the sake of monsterkind's freedom. Running a child through with a spear, poisoning oneself with a plant that makes you vomit blood, not for the faint of heart but someone has to make hard choices, right?

Sometimes the Narrator can be pretty bitter and angry, acting as if the pacifist route will amount to nothing worthwhile, "you gave the cheapest gift of all... friendship", they say Frisk's offers of friendship are cheap and worthless lip service, "try as you might, you continue to be yourself" they initially think Frisk staying themselves is a bad thing. They once open a book to the exact page that shows humans in the worst light possible, "here's a random page" when it's normally "you open to the middle" "fearful of further attacks, we retreated", they don't like Frisk, (someone made a graph of the way Narrator treats Frisk over time, they fling a lot of insults in the ruins). They don't like Frisk, they don't like humans in general, that's why they like Undyne!

The coffin was empty, right? So where are they buried?... Well it is a custom to put the remains of a monster on/near their favourite thing so their essence can live on there, and Tori deliberately planted a patch of Cain's favourite flowers (she has seeds in a drawer, remember?) in the ruins where we first fall? Are they buried there? Did poor Frisk fall on the misanthropic child's grave, Frisk sure has enough determination to revive a ghost, don't they? And the right colour soul?

And of course, saving the lost souls seems to take knowing them personally? Sharing good memories? But Frisk doesn't know Asriel and has no good memories to speak of, so how is he saved? ...Well, we do see someone's memories every time we die or fall unconscious right? Maybe they can help?

It's the first human isn't it

I've just gotten back to the story of the first human in my current run and I feel like it makes more sense that Asriel ended up in a flower given that he died in the garden and his dust was scattered there. So if the human was buried under the flowers we fall onto at the start of the game...

Why the hatred of humans, though, then? Just because of what happened to Asriel?

[icewindandboringhorror]

(also feel free in the tags to clarify Why you made the choice you made!! :0c)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I love you Safety Wizard.

(Inspired by @keroascrazy)

[teaboot]

Things you can do as a security guard instead of acting like a dickhead: a vent post disguised as advice

Offer alternatives: IE, “Sorry, nobody’s allowed to hang out over there, but we have seats over here you’re welcome to use”. I recommend getting familiar with local parks, public seating, free food programs, outreach, mobile aid, etc., just in case those are needed.

Be polite: IE, “Excuse me, sir”, “I beg your pardon, miss”. This should go without saying but everyone deserves dignity.

Avoid phrasing requests as orders: IE, “Don’t stand in front of that” VS “Excuse me, could you move a bit to the side?”. This works best with an explanation, like, “There’s a sign behind you”, or, “you might get clipped by someone”. This helps communicate that you are asking for a reason, not just throwing your weight around. If you don’t have a reason, rethink whether or not you need to be doing anything.

Avoid directing blame or fault. Don’t say, “The owner says you gotta go” when you could say, “I’m not supposed to let people be here for X period” or “do X thing”. Again, try to have alternatives ready so people can use other resources or do something else instead of just abruptly changing plans.

Come from a place of compassion whenever you can. People are gonna tell you to get rid of the crazy screaming guy. They say that because they’re frightened and don’t know what to do. Your best approach is, “Hello sir”, followed by, “How are you today?”, “how’s it going?”, “are you doing alright?”, etc., depending on what the person is ACTUALLY doing / saying when you get there. You can offer help from there if needed, or leave them alone if they’re not in danger or a risk to anyone.

Remember you’re not a cop. This can mean whatever you need it to mean. For me personally, that means that with incredibly rare exception (like trying to sell to kids, contaminating other’s food or drink) I won’t report you for drugs. If I find you doing drugs on my site I’ll tell you a different place where you can do them instead and ask you to do them there. I have interrupted drug deals to ask the client and the salesman to both kindly move 15 feet to the left, I’m not kidding, I do not care.

Know who you can throw under the bus. Sometimes you gotta enforce rules and be the bad guy and if that’s the fault of some dipshit in a suit 200 miles away, you can say that. Sorry man, I can’t let you park your car on the lawn. I know you’re not hurting anyone and frankly I think lawn culture is stupid but there’s other parking stalls and if my boss sees you I’ll get a write-up for not doing my job. Shit sucks sometimes but if it wasn’t me telling you it’d be the new guy, and between you and me he’s an idiot and he’ll probably just report you to bylaw.

Don’t just act like you’re their friend, genuinely try to be a good friend. If you know that someone is doing something that will only result in a bystander phoning police, don’t let them go down like that. Let them know, “hey man, you seem like you’re having a shit time and I get it, I’ll do what I can, but we gotta have this conversation somewhere else ‘cause we’re freaking out the old ladies.”

Swallow your tongue. You can’t fix the world. People are gonna bitch at you about communists and 5G and gangster rap ruining the neighbourhood, that’s just part of the deal. Nod along, remain neutral, shut down any hate speech, redirect if you can, and keep a limit in mind where you’ll have to shut things down.

Accept that sometimes there are no solutions. Yes, that angry guy who blasts music will be back tomorrow. That homeless woman who asks you to help her find her dog that she hasn’t had in 30 years will ask again, and yes, you’re still going to take a description and promise to keep an eye out. That kid who smokes crack behind the building has been clean for a few weeks and still stops by to say hi, and you hope he’ll get his life together and be happy, but he also might relapse and OD before he hits 25. Sometimes you just have to do the best you can, even if nothing is guaranteed.

Be kind to teenagers. Being a kid is hard, and everyone’s on their ass all the damn time for everything.

Remember that the vast majority of bad people aren’t bad, just unhappy. The guy who keeps showing up drunk and puking on the carpet is unhappy. The lady who bitches about the service every single time and keeps coming back anyway is unhappy. The guy who leaves trash everywhere is probably unhappy. If they were happy, maybe they’d do better, but they’re not, and that’s kinda sad. You don’t have to let them get away with their shit, but they probably aren’t actually a worthless human being either.

It doesn’t matter if 12 is true or not. You need to believe it or you will become a harsh and bitter person. Look for evidence that people are not terrible and invent it if you have to

Don’t let yourself become a bastard

[cyeayt]

Shout out to Characters who are shells of their former selves! You died and you’re not coming back! You don’t recognize yourself and neither does anyone else, and it’s anyone’s guess what the fuck you’re supposed to be now!

[paintedcrows]

*through tears* HER LITTLE POG CHAMP

[bllmak]

[lightbearers]

[lemongogo]

dont forget what happened to icarus

[mrtequilasunset]

Listen man, you guys can't be like "you guys need to be normal about asexuality" and then turn around and get weirdly judgemental when you find out someone doesn't have sex by choice. Like that's weird that some of you do that.

[mochasucculent]

Was looking at refs and since Viktor has two different leg braces I was wondering, do we think he wears them simultaneously?? The refs don't perfectly line up perspective-wise so it's hard to tell but parts of the one he wears during the Hexcore scenes look like they could maybe line up with the brace that he wears over his clothes, but also some parts really don't and look like they'd be super uncomfy. Also HOW does he take these on and off. Experts weigh in

[bl00dalchemist]

Akatsuki's youngest members y'all

[fevekko]

i miss them so much it's not even funny anymore chat

the designs are @y0gurtfae 's!!! please go check out their peak art <3

[chopshajen]

Eepy time

What was intended to be a very casual doodle did not stay casual LOL

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

main take aways from Halloween (1978) rewatch:

michael myers is canonically 21??? this bitch should be at the club

*sees tiddies* ***MURDEROUS RAMPAGE NOISES***

that's it that's the movie

outside of the fact that everyone who has sex is murdered by the narrative, this is a surprisingly chill portrayal of female sexuality? these teen girls are horny and actively enjoying Getting It On with their boytoys. no pushy boyfriends sneaking in through their bedroom windows--these ladies are taking the initiative to sneak out and GET SOME. one of them gets laid and then immediately orders her boyfriend to get her a beer. (yes she gets Slashered soon afterward, but so does the boyfriend so honestly, gender equality.) yes the Final Girl is the only one not having sex, but she's not bullied for that, nor are her friends slut shamed except possibly by being murdered by the narrative

actually the only character who is shown being morally condemned on-screen is michael myers. specifically FOR his violent overreaction to other people's sex lives. (people he is spying on). metaphorically, the villain is American Puritanism sticking its judgy nose into other people's business.

aka Michael Myers Is A Republican

but actually the real villain is the doctor. guy's a judgemental, shaming, pathologizing asshole. and he's been in charge of michael's care since he was SIX YEARS OLD? kid never had a chance. i'd go on a killing spree too

also the parents. where are the parents? it's halloween night and all the teenage girls are home babysitting their younger siblings? come to think of it, michael's first victim was his own older sister, whom he killed while she was babysitting him. teen girls are really shouldering a labour burden here. maybe parentification is the true villain

side note: mike commits his first murder wearing a clown costume...which is never referenced again? his 'iconic' costume is a generic mask and wig and jumpsuit, when we coulda had a Killer Clown Michael Myers??? travesty

i like how the Final Girl and her friend casually smoke weed in her car. yeah she's an honor student and her friend is the sheriff's daughter. yeah they smoke weed. so what it's 1978

(to reiterate, mike is 21 and should be at the club. im not saying he shouldn't be rampaging, im saying it's sad that he broke out, tasted freedom for the first time in his life, and immediately snuck back into his childhood home to go rampaging. let's have a remake where he goes to a nightclub and has a few beers. maybe some slutty dancing. then rampage)

oh no he's hot

[fairsweetlonging]

truth serum / system reveal au where shen qingqiu gets hit with an uncloaking spell that reveals the system in the reflection of his eyes every time it pops up.

during one of his missions, in the treasure hoard of some dragon-like creature, he finds a golden, oval shaped hand mirror, its gaudy style more victorian based than anything (airplane you hack!), that doesn't seem to do anything when he looks into it. but when he does, it reveals the system's screen in his eyes.

he doesn't notice this, of course, because he can't see it, and the system, surprisingly, stays quiet.

the peak lords think he's cursed.

maybe mu qingfang is the first to notice, during the mandatory post mission check-up, when shen qingqiu is scrolling through his most recently accumulated points and mu qingfang can see the strange vividly-blue lines reflected in his pupils. it's gone when shen qingqiu blinks, like it was nothing but a trick of the light.

it comes out when yue qingyuan is visiting and, just as he's done laying out the plans for a new mission, shen qingqiu's eyes glaze over and a bright blue box takes over the whole of his iris. shen qingqiu goes quiet; the thing in his eyes moves, shifts, pulses for a second, like static worms crawling all over his pupils. then he blinks, and it's gone, and shen qingqiu accepts the mission that yue qingyuan was almost sure he would decline.

maybe there is an intervention, when the peak lords corner shen qingqiu at qian cao peak and try to figure out what's wrong, subjecting him to all kinds of treatments and curse-finding spells that turn up empty, they can't find anything.

of course, the silencing threat is still very much up and running. at first shen qingqiu was kind of confused by the whole ordeal, but when the peak lords start describing a "strange blue box", he realizes, with sickening suddenty, that they're describing the system. and he can't say anything.

this only makes everything worse, because their fellow peak lord now keeps evading every question and acts like he doesn't understand. liu qingge points right at his face and asks, "that blue box, what is it?" and shen qingqiu laughs nervously and starts talking about how bright the weather is and surely it's the sky and nothing to worry about!

even worse, during the intervention the system thought it was a good idea to start talking to him, so now even the peak lords who hadn't seen it and who might have been persuaded by light tricks and reflections, get a first row view that no, that definitely isn't a trick of the light.

they try to do the whole thing of "are you in danger, blink twice" but shen qingqiu can't even do that because it's still a direct admittance!

maybe eventually he starts saying vague confirmations that don't actually confirm anything, like "this master hears what you're saying", or maybe he goes with a classic "this master can neither confirm nor deny that." but the system starts warning him for that too and eventually he stops saying anything, which worries the others more.

luckily mu qingfang catches on that every time they ask a direct question about the box or shen qingqiu says anything vaguely confirming, it appears. it doesn't appear when they ask about curses or demons, so it must not see that as a threat.

for a little extra angst: maybe the peak lords keep pressuring him for answers, and at some point shen qingqiu gets fed up and snaps out something like, "why don't you understand that i'm not allowed to answer that!" the system counts this as a direct admittance, threatening it's existence. so it punishes. shen qingqiu has a qi deviation so bad it lasts two weeks and takes two people every day to cleanse his meridians. the system doesn't appear in that time. it doesn't appear for a long while after that, either. the peak lords stop asking, mainly because shen qingqiu will instantly leave the room if they do. they don't stop searching for a cure, though.

shang qinghua returns from a business trip and catches on the second someone mentions a blue box and forced silencing.